SOME ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES FROM.....................

...The Experts

• Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says

• Plane too close to ground, crash probe told

• Two soviet ships collide, one dies

• Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted

• Cold wave linked to temperatures

...The Wonderful World of Animals

• Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over

• Squad helps dog bite victim

• Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

...The Scene of the Crime

• Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years

• Enfield couple slain; Police suspect homicide

...Justice

• Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

• Drunk gets nine months in violin case

• Stolen painting found by tree

• Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84

• Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

...International Affairs and Politics

• Soviet virgin lands short of goal again

• British left waffles on Falkland Islands

• Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead

• War dims hope for peace

...Worker's Rights

• Miners refuse to work after death

• If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while

• Teacher strikes idle kids

• Prostitutes appeal to Pope

• 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter

...Science

• Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

...Love

• Never withhold herpes infection from loved one

...The Human Touch

• Survivor of siamese twins joins parents

• Iraqi head seeks arms

• Eye drops off shelf

• Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66

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