Here is my stream-of-conscious-no-editing-no-spell-checking-run-on-sentence comments of my trip to Manchester. Some day I'll write this up all nice and pretty but for now you'll have to live with this. :)
I came to Manchester from London and chances are you will be as well. If so the best way to get there is by BritRail. You can buy tickets at the BritRail station which is near the Euston tube stop("train, heave on to Euston" :). Don't buy a ticket for the first few trains because until about 9:30 or 10am you'll end up paying about double the normal fare because those trains are the busiest and most popular. You might also want to invest in a BritRail youth pass if you are going to taking more than 2 or 3 rides. It is supposed to get you 30% off the fare. It cost 16 pounds to get one and all you have to be is a student or under 24 or 26(I forget). In any case, look in to it (anyone can get one, even if you aren't British).
The trip to Manchester takes about 2 and a half hours, so you'll get there about noon. This is really bad if you are only staying a day because you won't have nearly the time you need to see everything. I think the last train back to London leaves at 7:00pm.
If you can, find a hostel or other cheap lodging in Manchester (or find expensive lodging of course if you can afford it). We couldn't find any so we had to make it a day trip and I regret it. From here on out, I'll just tell you how our day went. I think we did a pretty good job so you might just want to follow our dayplan. Some things - like getting to Salford Lads Club - need to be planned out just right so make sure you do have an idea of what you're doing before you get there.
As soon as you arrive, you'll most likely be hungry. There's a Burger King and a few other shops in the train station so you could eat there. We ate at a little place about a block from the station and had some chicken. What-ever you choose, I'd eat at the first place that looks remotely good because it'll be harder to find food if you wait.
Also, if you don't have one. BUY A COPY OF MANCHESTER A TO Z AT THE THOMAS COOKE (or what-ever the name of that store is) located at the train station. You'll need this to find your way around. I'm serious, don't even think about not getting it. It's 5 pounds or so, well worth it. For those who don't know, the a to z books are very complete map books which list every street in the town the book is wrote for. You'll never find your way around without it.
Once you leave the station. Just walk straight. You'll be able to tell where the main hub of the town is. Of course, you'll have bought your copy of a to z so it'll be helping you out as well. You'll want to go to Piccadilly Gardens. This is where the metro-link (I think that's the name is) trains are. Metro-link is sort of an above ground subway/train/whatever.
From here, you'll take the train to Stretford where you'll start your journey to 384 kings road - morrissey teenage home. Though you won't be able to tell when, the train goes quite near the back of Morrissey's home ("and when a train goes by it's such a sad sound..."). The Stretford stop is a bit down the road from Morrissey's house though so you'll just have to walk :(.
Once the train stops at Stretford, you'll be on (or right by) kingsway edge (look on your a to z guide), from here you'll see that kings road is only a block or two away(I don't know if it's a right or left hand turn - it should be left - again LOOK IN A TO Z (aren't you glad you paid the 5 pounds for it?).
The walk to 384 is a ways, nothing that you can't manage, just not extremely short. Just keep walking and enjoying the "ugly new houses". It shouldn't take you to long to realize that they where probably all built at the same time according to a few variations on the same plan.
After kings road, I'd keep walking up kings road into whalley range. I wanted to try to find something that was "typical" of the whalley range that morrissey knew and sang about ("miserable lie"). You may find something better but for me (who was on a strict time schedule) the best I could find was linders old home (bedsit). I don't have the address with me right now but it is in johnny rogan's book. The house is surely a place that morrissey went to many times and the path that you walk is probably the one morrissey himself had walked (or close to it-humor yourself - "did I really, walk all this way, just to hear you say, I don't want to go out tonight.")
Once you've seen linders, the next big site is south cemetery, the "real" cemetery gates that morrissey sang about (btw, Linder is the other person in the song). By now you'll be sick of walking and south cemetery is pretty far away(look on your map to the south/south-east of whalley range). Now is the time to try to figure out Manchester's bus system. The best thing to do will be to do a bit of research before hand and find out the exact bus's to look for. Or, if you are like me, you'll just have to stop every bus that comes by and ask for info. [Editor's note : there is a bus information centre at Piccadilly Bus Station in the centre of town. Be mindful of the palare, however.]
What I would do is this - walk on to Alexandra road and Alexandra park. Take a quick rest in the park and then wait on the side walk on Alexandra road, there seems to be a bus by pretty often so you'll soon find the one you need. If you care to forgo seeing the park, you'd be best to just rest on the side walk since you'll see more buses and be able to stop the right one sooner.
The bus that we took didn't go right by south cemetery but it got us close enough to walk the rest of the way. As long as you have your copy of Manchester a to z you'll do alright. After the cemetery, catch a bus back up to picadilly gardens (that's what we did at least). Your next stop is Salford Lads Club. Unfortunately, Salford Lads Club is a bitch to get to. Also the neighborhood (from what we were told) is a bit rough. It's best to get in, see it, and leave. In the end, your best bet is to pay for a cab and have them drive you there, wait for you, then drive you to your next destination. Salford lad's club is no longer in business but our cabbie still knew where it was (it's on coronation street). In the end, a cab ride to Salford lads club, including a five minute wait as we took pictures, etc. And back to the train station to catch our train cost us about 7 pounds. Well worth it. You'll hate trying to get to Salford lads club on foot [Editor's note - he's right, it's a total arse to get there. Manchester University's Morrissey Society (yes, there was such a thing) arranged a visit there and it was still a hassle, even when some people knew where they were going...]
If you're going back to London (as we were) this will be the end of your trip. In fact, you'll be cutting it pretty close so make sure you watch the clock.
If you've found a place to stay then I'd recommend the following:
(I've not done or been to these places but I think they'd be nice).
Visit the hacienda - a local club where the smiths had one of their first shows. [Editor's note - The Hac is now closed but you can still look at it. Also on the same street is The Ritz, where The Smiths had their first gig. That's still open.]
See the "holy name church" (vicar in a tutu) - it's on oxford street, near the university(?) [Editor's note - right next to the "proper" Manchester University, opposite the Academy.]
Go to rusholme. There is a field there where a yearly fair takes place. This is what morrissey was writing about in "rusholme ruffians"
Really dedicated fans with time to spare might also want to visit davyhulme hospital (where moz was born), inland revenue(? - check the rogan book) where morrissey had (his only?) "real" job)
You should also try to find his old house in altrincham(south Manchester-the metrolink can get you there). This is where his mom lives now (I think). The house should be in the rear of a girls school. I'll try to post more later. Of course, be polite if you decide to bother Mrs. Morrissey :)
[Apologies to the author of Hated For Fame for unauthorised use. Please get in touch if there's a problem.]