"In My Opinion . . ."
March 24, 2001
Disaster continues to rain on Seattle. In fact, it's the only thing raining on us at the moment. Our Winter of sunshine and little precipitation has melded into a bright and warm Spring. This might not sound like disaster to the uninitiated, but let me remind you that Seattle is known for its rain and all that comes with it: snow-covered mountains, fish-filled water holes, and hydroelectric power.
Our dried-up reservoirs spell trouble. In times past, whenever Washington has had a water shortage, the nature-loving Northwesterners have responded by taking navy showers, foregoing green lawns, and remembering to follow the adage, "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." This time around, however, our energy and water-saving actions won't be enough. We've been told we have to provide energy for California so it can keep all its swimming pools heated and its parties going. California's short-sighted politicians plunged their state into an avoidable energy shortage, and they've somehow managed to make it so that the Northwest must provide electricity for them and pay higher rates because of it while they continue to pay next-to-nothing. I do not feel sorry about their black-outs.
Our disasters continue. We're still working on cleaning up from the earthquake a month ago, and now our state's been hit by another major shock: Boeing's pulling out. Suddenly Boeing, born and raised in Washington, isn't happy with all the special treatment and dispensations it's been receiving here. Management intends to move to a more business-friendly area with global reaches (apparently the Pacific Rim isn't global enough). Word has it that Dallas might be the new home.
There are those that think that Boeing is looking to cozy-up to President Bush by moving to good ole big-business-lovin' Texas. The airplane giant can reap the benefits of being in such a nice ole conservative place like The Lone Star State--where real men don't have to worry none 'bout them thar environmental regulations. Buh-bye, Boeing. Maybe now the Puget Sound won't be plagued with such horrid traffic jams since hundreds of aerospace industry employees won't be clogging up the I-5 corridor.
All of these disasters tarnish our once pristine image. When you throw in violence at Mardi Gras and sky-rocketing housing prices, it feels like Washington is going to hell in a hand basket. Blame must be placed somewhere. Therefore, I have reached a conclusion based on the past logic of the self-righteous conservatives. If all that was wrong with America in the last eight years was the fault of Bill Clinton, then all that is wrong now must be the fault of George W. Bush. How coincidental can it be that we've been on a straight line down since January? Our only hope is a one-term presidency. Otherwise, I'm bracing for the biggie: the eruption of Mt. Rainier.