Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. --Will Rogers
An elegant moral guideline -- funny and yet a truly useful mirror to hold up at your own actions.
For example, would I be ashamed if you knew I was smoking a cigarette right now? No. I just told you, didn't I? ;) But let's say I had promised my honey I would quit and he'd be real upset if he found out. Different story, eh? And one that means I should either snuff it right now or go tell him I've blown it.
People who are shading their own ethics are often the ones who get the most moralistic about the evils of gossip. They try hard to control who knows what, they even try to control what they notice about their own behavior, and they don't ask themselves whether they are living right. Gossip is obviously bad when it is slander. If you did it, is it slander? If you're so upset about having anyone else know, maybe you shouldn't have done it. If you feel like the story requires a complicated explanation, see my essay on K.I.S.S.
On reason people worry so much about gossip is if they are trying to ascribe to moral guidelines that don't leave room for being an ordinary and fallible human being. Going back to my cigarette example, smoking isn't the smartest thing I do and maybe my honey would like it if I quit, but I'm hooked and I just plain like the blasted things. So, even if I was trying to quit, I wouldn't promise my honey that I was done with them. That would be the equivalent of a moral guideline that didn't take who I am into account. Better I should say, "I'll try", even if I wish I could adhere to a higher standard.
Of course, we all do stuff sometimes where we have solid cause to be ashamed. We blew it, we're going to try hard not to do that one again, and we're really glad we don't have a parrot to sell to the town gossip. ;)