The Deep Stuff - Trains, Dinner, Inspiration and Y2K
Inspiration comes in all sizes shapes and forms and usually when you least expect it. Today's entry is going to flip flop around… I am just warning you all right now. It all started on Tuesday night when we did the Holiday Family even which this year was the Spirit of Puget Sound Dinner Train. I knew I wouldn't have time to go home and change so I changed before leaving work. I dressed up as I wanted family pictures to put up for the rest of the long distance family to see. So I get changed and come back from the bathroom only to find the door locked and I don't have my damn key card. So I am standing out side the door waiting for someone to leave so I can get back in, looking like a dork in a dress, pearls and heels. Finally I got back in and laughed at the double takes I got since I never wear dresses to work. The two guys that ran into each other was the highlight of it all.
Unfortunately the stress thing came back into play on my way to the train. Traffic sucked and I barely made it there on time. I hate being late to things… It drives me absolutely crazy. The train ride was bumpy but great and the view was awesome. It wasn't very foggy out and people had their Christmas lights on. It definitely was a very pretty ride. I am such a sucker for Christmas lights anyways. The food was awesome and it takes you to the Columbia winery. We did some wine tasting then headed back. This is where I ran into a problem.
KIDS DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! Okay so we had dessert on the train ride back. I had the chocolate mousse cake and it was great, however, I also had a glass of milk with it. Whole milk. Milk followed after wine just doesn't go together. Please trust me on this and learn from my mistake. So needless to say I didn't feel very well by the time I got home and through the night.
This is the part where this story starts to circle back to the inspiration part. I called in sick on Wednesday. I was cranky anyways and to not have slept well… Can you say Super Bitch????
I slept in and felt better and finally got out of bed around 10:30 am. I went and ran some errands as I didn't feel like cleaning my place and needed some supplies. You know.. the standard Target, Costco and grocery store run. I learned from my outing that I am a shampoo freak and can you really have enough varieties of shampoo? I also learned that people really are super freaked out about Y2K. Costco was packed with people buying supplies and returning/exchanging gifts. All the bottled water at Safeway was wiped out. I saw one gal at Target with 6 different flashlights, candles, and clearance Christmas stuff socked away in her cart. Fear. That is the driving motivation. I'll get back to this I swear.
I did my part to get Y2K ready. I think the fact that I was kind of out of it from being so tired pushed me into being part of the heard. I do have my own style when it comes to Y2K preparations. I now have enough soda, coffee, chips, crackers and cookies that I can at least fatten up before dying if the world comes to an end. I am already a candle freak so it is not unusual for me to have at least 20 candles laying around the house so I am covered on that end. Yah I did buy more, but it isn't like I wont use them even if the world doesn't end. Lets see what else… I do have a bottle of drinking water set aside but considering I am really bad about drinking water anyways I think I will probably down all of the pop and juice before I even touch that. I already had the mondo case of toilet paper so I am covered there even though if the world comes to an end I won't be able to flush. I have a shovel so I can at least dig a hole in the yard. I have batteries so I can take pictures of the world coming to an end and a flashlight. Got the reading material together and my Y2K compliant journal ready (paper notebook). Yup I think I am set.
Now that I had all of that covered I could hang out for a while and relax. I laid in bed for a while and realized that I really didn't have a problem with motivation. I have really great people in my life that I love and appreciate. "JB" has beaten me over the head about getting out of this funk. "T" has inspired me with her desire and drive to get her business going. My Mom and Aunt are always my biggest fans and constantly remind me that they are proud of me. "B" is always quoting the Nike ad and saying Just Do It. "A" is super supportive and lets me dump my anger in front of him just for the sake of getting it out of my system which I appreciate. "E" is very cool to let me dump on him at work too.
After thinking about all of this I came to the realization that it is not a lack of motivation that is holding me back it is FEAR. It really hit home after seeing all the Y2K stuff and thinking that it is silly. But it isn't. That is what is making me so angry with myself. I have no faith in myself that I will make the right career decision let alone the strength to try something new out of fear of failing. It is a feeling similar to being locked in a room with a solid locked door that you keep throwing your body at to try and break down.
Now don't get me wrong... I am not any closer to making a decision about what or how where and what not regarding where I want to go but at least I know I have to take a running leap at the door labeled 'fear' and take a chance at getting something that will challenge me and step out of my comfort box. I become a little more comfortable with the thought that I do have some skills that are worth something, I have also come to the realization that there are a lot of skills that I have that I really want to use and currently am not. I am narrowing the choices down to a select few and then I will evaluate what I want to pull out of it.
So in summary... What did I learn from the last couple of days???
1. Never wear black velvet dresses without pockets.
2. Never trust the traffic cams.
3. Christmas lights rock!
4. Pearls will make any gal feel girly.
5. Never Ever follow wine with milk.
6. Always go back to bed after calling in sick.
7. Always get out of the house on a sick day. (You never know where inspiration will strike.)
8. Always tell those people that are important to you that you love and appreciate them.
9. Oreo cookies, sour cream potato chips, cheese nips and soda are all Y2K compliant.
10. Never wash fuzzy shirts with stuff that will leave lint on them.
11. If you are going to try and break down a personal barrier in life wear padded shoulder pads.
12. Listen to your Mother. If nothing else she appreciates it.
13. Smile and the ones you love wonder what you are up to.
Till next time.
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