The Deep Stuff - Sleepy, Cranky, Happy, Hazy, Spoiled, Relaxed & WTO The 7 Dwarfs of the Day
I don't normally write this early in the day but I just can't seem to focus on anything right now. It is weird how things in life can change so far so fast. Right now I am in a hazy dreamy state surreal in my perceptions, yet, startled straight in the reality of it all. That feeling you get when you lay in bed, right before you drift off and right after you think about the days events. That finally deep breath that closes out the day and prepares you for the world of night. A breath that starts shallow and then fills you and runs to your soul as a exhalation of the badness of the day while polishing up the positives to make them a clearer memory.
I woke up this morning and was angry that my happiness was interrupted by that stupid reoccurring dream again. It makes no sense. I feel like I was ripped off. I went to bed very happy, relaxed and satiated knowing that tomorrow would be a good day. I forgot to take that deep breath. I so want to go back to that point and take that breath, the body shaking breath and sharpen only the positive memory of the happiness that last night brought. I want the feeling of being held, touched and loved to be what I feel and what I feel alone in my mind. Not the stupid bad dream, not the idiot I work with, not the wet floor in my bedroom and not the sleepiness.
I sound like a cranky spoiled child. I don't care. I don't want to be bothered answering questions, schmoozing to get what I need to finish my job, and dealing with people who want to know what is going on in my personal life. I either need a diaper change or a nap. I am potty trained... I guess the nap would do me better... :) Although, the thought of a throwing a temper tantrum actually sounds appealing. Oh wait a minute the rioters did that last night in Seattle. Damn... They beat me to it.
I would like to say that I have extreme deep thoughts on the whole WTO thing but there aren't many that I do have. I will say that people really are good for the most part. Most know where to draw the line on the socially acceptable behavior even in the midst of emotional protest in what they believe is an injustice or breach of the rules of humanity. It is the few that really weren't even there to protest that caused the whole thing to blow up. It is amazing that a few with lack of passion for anything can cause so much havoc on so many. The best line to describe this came from one of the people I work with. There was a rioter that was ripping down the Nike sign and guess what brand of shoes he was wearing? No passion... No sense... We are a democratic society that boasts about our ability to express our thoughts and that is good. It is when these thoughts turn to anger or greed that suppresses the common sense, sense of duty to our fellow humans and passion.
Deeply emotional drivel day. But don't get me wrong. I am happy.
Till next time.
Interested in more of my rants? BACK
