Slow Day Entertainment
1/18/2000  

Okay so you know it is a slow day when you find yourself looking for cheap entertainment value by running for pops to break up your day.

Let's lay the situation out for clarity's sake. I work in a corporate office building in a corporate office park that just 'happens' to be near a cheap motel called the Candy Kane Motel. This motel has been around all my life and has been a joke even longer. It is the kind of cheap sleazy hotel that you see in the movies, one story, neon lights and some guy that stands outside of his room smoking a cigarette and scoping out everyone who comes and goes. When you look at it all you can think of is the combo pink and orange shag carpeting with matching curtains and bed cover with the machine that for a quarter turns your gaudy bed into a nauseating blur of orange and pink vibrations. Well at least that is the mental decor that this motel conjures up.

Now our lunch room (which is on the opposite side of the building from where I sit) faces this fabulous and funky little motel of shame, so every time I go to get candy or pop it is an immediate reaction to check out the parking lot to see if there is a car that I recognize there. It is especially entertaining when you see a nice car parked in the parking lot at lunch time because you know someone is doing a nooner.

My greatest fear is to see someone I know actually show up there. I don't think I could help myself from laughing myself silly the next time I saw them and make references to to vibrating beds and pay per poke movies. That is after recovering from spewing pop from my nose or choking on the Reeses or Hot Tamales I just got out of the vending machines.

Needless to say today has been a slow day. I have volunteered several times to make the pop runs at work. I still have yet to peep on anyone that I know but you have to have faith that the entertainment will be there someday. 

The other cheap entertainment in our lunchroom is to look out the same windows to the freeway to see either accidents or the State Patrol loitering around to catch someone speeding. I don't really think they catch a lot of people speeding. It is too conveniently located next to a coffee joint. I think they sit in their cars sipping lattes and nibbling on scones and cookies until they get a call inquiring on their status. Then, and only then, do they actually try to get someone. It creates so much paperwork for them to do and they risk spilling their mochas or lattes.

Still the occasional chance to actually watch them in action does provide some entertainment value. Besides it is really super boring to watch them just sit there hair dryers in hand faking out the passing motorists with lead feet and laughing themselves silly sipping on their triple, grande, non-fat, no whip, insert your favorite flavor here, double pike with a reverse latte.

Till Next Time....